Steps
toward a
Meaningful Career - and Life
Jay
Earley, PhD
This
article outlines a program of steps to guide you in discovering and manifesting
your life purpose. I
define life purpose as a contribution to the world that uses your whole
self fully and gives your life passion, fulfillment, and meaning through
dedication to something larger than yourself. I believe that everyone has a life purpose, to be discovered or created. It
involves (1) a way of being in the world that has a positive influence on
family, friends, and perhaps all those you touch, and (2) a career (or a
volunteer project) through which you benefit other people,
society, or the natural world. For a fuller discussion see Finding
Your Life Purpose.
This outline is the basis for the Life Purpose Coaching
Program. Even
though life purpose encompasses more than career, this article focuses on career
since that is what brings most people to seek coaching. There are questions to help you assess whether you have completed each step
in the outline and
what may still need to be done. Where possible I have included references to
further reading material.
There are three
phases—Preparation, Discovering, and Actualizing. Though this program is structured,
it is also highly individual. You may want to do all of the phases, but if you
already know your life purpose, you may only need the Actualizing phase. Or if
you can take successful action without help, you may only need the Discovery
phase. In addition, you might skip one step because you already know that
information, while another step might require more in-depth work. Sometimes a
number of steps are completed in a single session. The steps do not have to
be followed in the exact order in which they are listed, and at times you may
need to go back to an earlier step to address something that will allow you to
move forward.
Preparation
The Preparation steps are assessed during
our first meeting. Those steps that need work can usually be dealt with while you proceed
with the rest of the program. Therefore this phase often takes just that one
meeting.
Personal Concerns and
Stabilizing Your Life
Many people must get their basic life needs met (needs for security, belonging, and
self-esteem) before they are ready to
focus their energy on life purpose issues. If you suffer from physical or
psychological difficulties that prevent you meeting these needs, you may need to
attend to them first. We each move through this process at the pace that is
right for us, given our history and circumstances.
Let yourself look at this process of attending to personal
concerns as the first step toward finding your life purpose. This is especially
important for those of you, mainly women, who have been trained to ignore your
own needs in serving others. Don't confuse this self-denying attitude with the higher service of life
purpose, which includes taking care of yourself. It is perfectly appropriate for
you to learn how to take care of your own needs for a fulfilling life, and this
may need to come first, before focusing on a higher purpose. Those of you who
have spent significant time and energy on personal healing may also recognize
that you gain compassion, insight, and depth through the healing process which
will enable you to make a fuller contribution to the world.
If your life is stressed, chaotic, or rigidly locked in a
pattern that leaves you little time for reflection or exploration, you may have
to make some important changes before you will have room to find your life
purpose. You may need to stabilize your life in a way that leaves you time and
energy to devote to your life purpose project. This may mean getting out of
toxic situations, cutting down on unnecessary spending, living more simply,
changing your priorities, improving your health, stabilizing your financial
situation, or changing some of your relationships. Even though this may
take quite some time, it can be necessary before you make progress
on life purpose issues. See Making a
Living While Making a Difference, by Melissa Everett, Step 2.
Are your personal needs met sufficiently that you are interested
in life purpose pursuits? Do you have enough time and energy to devote to
finding your life purpose?
Emotional Support
Throughout this process it is important to get emotional support
and encouragement from friends, family, and others in your life. It is very
helpful to regularly connect with others who understand your desire for a
meaningful life and career and who may be working toward the same ends themselves. You can
receive feedback, support, suggestions, and networking help. It is especially helpful to have people who are
good listeners, and who won’t rush you into thinking about practical issues or
making decisions too quickly. If possible, become
part of an on-going group which provides this support. See Wishcraft,
by Barbara Sher, chapter 7, or Everett, Step 3.
Do you have people to support you in your life purpose exploration?
Financial Support
For many people, discovering and actualizing life purpose can take quite a
while, and therefore they need to have a means of supporting themselves
financially while they are engaged in this process. Though you may be aiming at
a career that will eventually be financially secure as well as meaningful, in the meantime you need a
way to support yourself that also leaves you time to
devote to your search for your life purpose.
A recommendation: A number of people have quit a
previous job that was unsatisfying and spent a year or so enjoying the time off
and finding themselves, but not exploring their life purpose. When they start to
run out of money, they call for Life Purpose Coaching. This is not the best time to do
this because then you may have to balance life purpose work with finding a new job that will temporarily
support you financially. It would be much better to start your life purpose
exploration when you first quit your old job (or even before then if you don’t
have money saved). Then you will have the time and energy to pursue your life
purpose without having to worry about money or a new job that you don’t really
want.
If you are in this situation, however, we can still help you. Using many of
the same processes with a slightly different orientation, we can help you
discover the kind of job that would be best for you in the short term. This can
even be combined with an exploration of your your ideal life purpose, which may
take longer to find and actualize.
Do you have a way of supporting yourself financially while you find and
actualize your life purpose?
Personal Power
Many people are held back from pursuing their
life purpose by low self-esteem, a feeling of inadequacy, or a sense of not
deserving to be successful in the world. Others have difficult because of fears
of taking risks or a sense of not being powerful in the world. It is very
important to cultivate an attitude of acceptance, respect, and loving and
enthusiastic support towards yourself. In addition, you will need the confidence
and courage to take the risks in putting yourself out in the world. If you are
blocked in any of these areas, this can make it difficult to even know what your
life purpose is. See my booklet A Course in Self-Esteem, and also Inner Journeys, section
five.
Do you feel that you have the confidence and personal power to change your life in the way
you want?
Discovering
Your Life Purpose
This
phase consists of three parts--Orientation, General Direction of Life Purpose,
Career and Project Ideas. It usually takes 4 to10 sessions.
Orientation
In order to orient you to the discovery work that follows, we start by looking at your interests, talents, and values, and
your ability to feel your desire for
life purpose.
Interests
First you need to discover your most important interests and
inclinations—the kinds of activities you enjoy, the kinds of settings you
prefer, the kind of technology you like to work with, and the sorts of people
you like. Also consider geographic area, commuting, travel, and other
preferences. This understanding will lead you to activities that spark your
excitement and enthusiasm, work that taps your creative edge, and a
lifestyle that is deeply satisfying. We can use career
assessments to help you discover appropriate careers based on your interests and
talents. See Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, chapter 3, What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles, chapter 4, or Inner
Journeys, chapter 11.
What kind of activities, settings, and people most interest you?
Innate Gifts and Skills
An important step in finding your life purpose is recognizing the
gifts you were born with to help you in carrying it out—your talents,
strengths, and special personal qualities. It is also important to recognize the skills and knowledge
which you have acquired during your life. See
references above.
What are your talents, special qualities, and skills?
Values
What is most important to you in life? What ways of being do you
value most? In work, in relationships, in your inner life, in society. Exploring
this issue sets the stage for discovering your life purpose. See Making
a Living While Making a Difference, by Melissa Everett, Step 4.
Social Concerns
What are the things that concern you most deeply about your community or the earth,
about people or society, the issues
that stir your passion and commitment. For
instance, you might concerned about global warming, or the oppression of third
world people. You might want to help handicapped children or participate in the
creation of cooperative community life.
What social issues do you care most deeply about?
Feeling Your Desire and Passion
It is very helpful to feel in a clear way your desire to find your life
purpose. You may first sense as a general yearning for more out of life or a
vague dissatisfaction with your life as it is. Try to sense the desire itself and
then the excitement and passion that are aroused when you are discovering
and actualizing your life purpose. This goes beyond intellectual understanding. It is often felt
in the body or as a spiritual sensing. This fuels your search for life purpose
and provides commitment, focus, and courage.
Can you feel your desire and passion for finding your life purpose?
General Direction of Life Purpose
In this subphase, you discover the general direction of your life
purpose without yet worrying about a specific career. You may discover the area in which you would like to make a contribution
or the core values and meaning that underlie whatever you will do. For example, art,
sustainability, integrity, or education. You might discover two or three areas that
are
important.
Reflective Inquiry
In this approach, the coach asks you evocative questions and
helps you to reflect in a deeper way on the meaning and direction of your life.
Guided Meditation
In a guided meditation, the coach takes you on an inner journey
to the depths of your psyche to help you discover information that is not
usually available to our ordinary consciousness. This also helps you to learn
how to access such higher wisdom on your own. Click
here to see a sample guided meditation.
Way of Being, Learning, Healing, Growth
In addition to career, your life purpose may involve a way of being in the world, for example, being loving to all people,
being deeply attuned to the earth, trusting your inner knowing, or being
courageous. In a slightly different perspective, your life purpose may involve learning certain things
during your life or meeting important challenges in your personal growth. It
might mean healing yourself from childhood wounds or perhaps moving toward
spiritual realization. This might then lead you to help others heal or grow in
similar ways. See Discovering Your Soul's
Purpose by Mark Thurston, chapter 4.
Does your life purpose have to do with a certain way of being? Does
it involve certain kinds of learning, growth,
or healing?
Source of Life Purpose
The source of your life purpose is more
fundamental than a career or project. It is something larger than yourself to
which you are dedicated. It involves a deep, heartfelt sense of belonging and
commitment that moves you passionately. You might be dedicated to the spiritual
evolution of humanity or the liberation of oppressed people. You may be
committed to the creation of peace or beauty.
What is the source of your life purpose?
Spiritual Calling
Some people sense that they have a spiritual calling toward a way
of being? This step
involves exploring the depths of your psyche to uncover this. See my
paper “Finding Your Life Purpose” or Thurston.
Do you have a spiritual calling?
Your Life Path
It can be helpful to view the larger
flow of your life in terms of its meaning, seeing how the events of your
life form a coherent pattern pointing toward an overall purpose, allowing
your own personal myth to unfold.
What is your understanding of the overall path of your life?
Working through Blocks
Most people have some psychological blocks that make if difficult for them to
discover their life purpose or actualize it. It is important to identify these
blocks when they arise, learn where they come from, and work them through. See
my article Working through Blocks to Your
Life Purpose. They can come up at this point in the process or later during
actualization.
Have you identified and worked through your psychological blocks to the life
purpose process?
Career and Project Ideas
In this subphase, you refine your sense of life purpose by generating and
evaluating ideas for projects and careers, such as being a sustainability consultant to
corporations or educating children about conflict resolution. These projects should not yet be tied down
in too specific a way.
For a career to be right it must meet three criteria: (1) It must resonate with
your deepest sense of meaning. (2) You must have the talent to be successful at
it, perhaps in collaboration with others. (3) It must be needed in the world.
Validating and Expanding Existing Contributions
It is important to recognize the ways in which you may already be
contributing to the world. For example you may be living out values that promote
a healthy society or influencing people positively in your everyday contacts or
in your work. Recognizing this helps you to appreciate the value of your life as it is.
You can then become more
effective by doing what you do with the conscious intention of serving a higher
purpose, perhaps even making an organized project out of it. You might choose to remain in your current work
situation and transform it so that you are making a higher contribution. For
example, if you do corporate personnel work which you enjoy but doesn’t feel
spiritual, instead looking for a new job,
you could remain and work to bring spiritual values into the corporate culture.
For a wise discussion, see Making a Living
While Making a Difference, by Melissa Everett, Step 10.
In what ways are you already living your life purpose? How
might this be expanded to make a greater impact? How could you make a
contribution in your current work situation?
Becoming a Transformative Citizen
You may want to contribute to a better world by changing
the way you live your life to be aligned with a healthier society. You may consume less, create community around you, live in a
more cooperative way, connect deeply to the natural world, or other choices. You may develop and manifest personal qualities and make personal
choices that reflect your social values.
In what ways does your current life reflect your social values
and vision? How would you like to live in a way that does?
Integrating Sides of Yourself.
Many people have more than one concern about the world and
perhaps a number of talents or important values. It can be helpful to
explore how these areas may be integrated in choosing a career, so that as much as
possible of you is included. This integration may also
occur later during Successive Approximations.
Can you think of ways to integrate different sides of yourself
into one project?
Zeroing in Gradually
It is now time to create your vision of an ideal work
situation without yet thinking about specific jobs. Consider the following
questions: (1) What activities would you love to do as part of your life
purpose? (2) Who would like to have an impact on? (3) What impact would
you like to have?
You may only feel passionate about one or two of these questions. See my
article Zeroing in Gradually on Your
Life Purpose.
Concrete Brainstorming
Now it is time to generate a list of projects and careers that are possible
manifestations of your ideal work vision (or some aspects of it). Begin to
include real-world projects that might be feasible. Brainstorm as many as possible. Tell your friends about your
ideal work and ask them for ideas.
What specific projects or careers might be right for you now?
Sensing What is Needed
Since your life purpose is a contribution to the world, it
involves sensing what is needed--by people you interact with or want to help, or
by your community or the world. Your choice of life purpose will be influenced
by what you sense is most needed in the world as well as by what you best have
to offer. Your intuitive understanding of what is needed informs the discovery
of your life purpose during this phase. During the Action phase as you explore
how to manifest your purpose, you will learn more about what is needed as you
get feedback from the experiments you try. You can also sense what is needed in
each moment as you continue on your life purpose path. Some things can't be
planned ahead; they must be decided in the moment as you progress.
To the extent that your life purpose is oriented toward a way of being,
it is helpful to sense what is needed in each moment as you interact with
people and the world. When you are fully open, you will spontaneously manifest
the personal or spiritual quality that is most needed in each situation. This
ability is enhanced by spiritual work. See The Diamond Approach by John
Davis.
Of all the contributions you could make, which ones are most
needed by other people and the world right now? To what extent do you naturally
respond according to what is needed in each moment?
Personal Vision
It is important to envision actually carrying out your life
purpose and creating satisfying career, to imagine a sequence of actions that
would lead to that goal. This could
be a guided meditation, or it could be written out as a life plan or a flow
chart of specific actions or a business plan. This creates excitement and
passion, makes your ideas more concrete, and provides a guide for taking action.
It is useful even if you end up deciding on a different project. See Wishcraft by Barbara
Sher,
chapters 6 & 8.
Do you have a vision and plan for how to manifest your life purpose?
Checking into Your Depths
When considering projects or careers, it is helpful to be able to
check inside yourself to that place of depth where you can feel your deeper purpose. In
this way, you can investigate to see whether or not an idea really resonates.
Do you have a way of checking with your deeper sense of purpose?
Actualizing Your
Life Purpose
In this phase, you begin to explore at least one specific project, job, or career, and you take action in the world
to clarify and fulfill your life purpose. People often choose to leave more than
a week between meetings so they have time to complete the more complex action
steps of this phase. We also may use sessions of a half hour rather than an
hour. The number of session varies widely depending on each individual's needs. See my article Actualizing
Your Life Purpose.
Getting Started.
In order to get started, it can be useful to decide on a first step
of action that isn't too threatening. It can be as small as making a single
phone call. It may be useful to take on a small project
that you know you can do. This will give you some experience and build your
confidence.
Have you a concrete way to start?
Researching Possibilities
At this point you have a sense of what you are looking for,
a specific job, a certain type of organization, a particular kind of
apprenticeship, a kind of business you want to start. You conduct a thorough
investigation of the possibilities, through reading, talking to appropriate
people, doing market research, needs assessment. It is important to cultivate the skills
for critical researching. See
Everett, Step 5.
Have you investigated various possibilities for your life purpose?
Finding Collaborators
Even if you are starting something new, you don't have to do it
all by yourself. Consider looking for an organization that you could join or
finding collaborators to work on a project together. They can complement your
talents and provide community and support.
Have you considered working with other people to create your life
purpose?
Staying Mobilized
Once you are started, there are a variety of ways to maintain your
momentum--planning your actions week by week, making commitments to yourself,
checking in with a friend, using a support group, rewarding yourself for taking
risks, keeping track of your progress, remembering why this is important
to you. A coach can be very helpful in this.
How will you maintain your
momentum?
Experimenting
It is often necessary to try out a project or career direction by attending meetings,
doing volunteer work, taking a job, or beginning a business. This needs to
be done in a spirit of experimentation, knowing that you may need to test a
number of possibilities before you will find one that really fits you and is
also needed in the world. It
is important to give yourself permission to move on when something is not
working out, so that you are not afraid of getting stuck in the first thing you
try.
Have you experimented with your project before fully committing
yourself to it?
Developing Capacities
In order to fully manifest your life purpose, you may need to develop certain
psychological capacities or worldly skills. You might need to develop greater
humility or interpersonal courage or vision. You might need to learn more about
writing or marketing or being organized. In addition, you may need to work
through certain psychological issues that are preventing you from developing
these capacities.
What capacities do you need to develop to make your life purpose a reality?
Revisiting Earlier Steps
You will get feedback from your research and experiments--internal feedback about how well a given project
or job resonates with your deep
purpose and external feedback about how much the world seems to need
this contribution. When this feedback is negative, it may indicate that you need
to change your
approach, or you may realize that you should go back to the discovery phase and explore further.
Is it time to revisit an earlier step in this process?
Successive Approximations
You may not find your ideal career right away. You may have to go through a process of successive approximations, where at
first you find something that only partially meets your criteria for a fully
satisfying contribution. Perhaps you find a volunteer project in an area of
interest which allows you to gain skills and experience. After that you can get
a paying job in the same field which also gives you increased responsibility and
autonomy. During this time you develop better contacts and refine your
ideas about how to use this work to make a contribution. As you gain experience, your interests and skills will become
refined, and you will create newer and more exciting ways to fulfill your
purpose, ways that use more of your creativity, that reach more people, that
flow from your deepened understanding of what is needed. Each time you will find
or create a situation that fits you better and allows you to have a greater
positive impact on the world.
Are you willing to start wherever you can? Is it time to move to
a new situation that is closer to your true purpose?
(Latest
modification of this article 2/24/03)
Please send me a message
with your responses to this article. I welcome your ideas or descriptions of
your personal journey in finding your life purpose. If I have your permission, I
may include it in the website. Click
here to read other people's stories.